So I’m gona keep this fairly non-personal so I don’t rock the boat too much, but I feel like I have to write about it because I’m super proud of of someone and I’m super angry for someone.

We will start with the anger so we can end this positively.

In refuge, women and children come and go. This is a place only for those at the highest risk of Domestic Abuse. A safe place for us and our children.

A woman and her 2 children came just a few weeks ago, lovely woman and lovely children that my 2 have made good friends with.

Like all of us here, in a desperate attempt to escape abuse these 3 have been ripped from their home, they have left their friends and family because of a narcissistic selfish perpetrator.

Do you understand the gravity of that situation?

And its not just the affect that it has on a brave, strong woman protecting her children, but the children themselves.

Can you imagine being a child and being suddenly taken from your home, your school and your friends?

So here they are, settled into their new home and new schools. And what happens?

That selfish piece of shit perp stalks them and finds them here and has the fucking balls to turn up outside.

Be aware that this place is rigged with security cameras and intruder alarms so noone was hurt. Also be aware that if anyone got into this place they would be dealing with ALOT of angry bad ass women willing to do ANYTHING to protect each other and our babies.

Today they must leave.

Once again, they are being uprooted and unsettled because of that cunt fucks selfish fucking actions.

Do you lot actually realise who you are hurting? YOUR OWN FUCKING CHILDREN.

And you wonder why you are not allowed contact??? Because the only people who you think about are yourselves, period.

It literally makes me sick to my stomach.

Not only have you mentally, physically, sexually or financially abused a woman for god knows how long, you have abused your own children whilst doing so and NOW when she has the strength to finally leave your pathetic ass you want to carry it on?

HAVE YOU NOT DONE ENOUGH?

When is enough? When does it end?

And WHY the fuck should it be us running? WHY are our children still suffering? WHY are we not protected, WHY are you not all in prison for your disgusting crimes.

Coz you lot don’t change, anyone that subjects another human being especially their own children to abuse and violence should just be shot because they wont ever change, it is impossible.

I hope that you’ll all pray for this woman and her babies like I will, I hope they are kept safe wherever they go next.

Also, I have to say I’m also proud of this woman above. Going beyond to protect her children, SHE IS A FUCKING WARRIOR.

Next up is slightly more positive and it’s about another incredible woman I’ve met along the way.

When I left perp I joined a support group, who gave me invaluable advice and kindness. People are incredibly sympathetic and understanding but unless you have experienced this type of abuse you can’t fully understand it.

This is where I met this woman (I’m gona refer to her as A), when we began talking she was still with her perp. When your in it you do know that it’s wrong but the issue is you’ve been programmed for so long to ignore your gut instinct that you carry on. A had got to the stage where she was really questioning her abuse but she was still making excuses for it.

Despite going through hell every day A supported me whole heartedly in my journey from day 1 and I tried to do the same for her.

This is where I realised how difficult it is to support someone whilst they are still in the relationship, and how hard it must be for families and friends of these survivors.

I was always honest, but I did hold back at times because having been there myself I know it’s not as simple as just leaving. Trauma bonding is real and is described as being very similar to drug addiction, this is how powerful control can be.

A was SO close to the breakthrough, she had the perfect opportunity to leave for good. It had been a few months and I was finding it increasingly difficult to keep the support going. I hope A doesn’t mind me saying I confided in a friend how hard it was and that I wasn’t sure I could keep it up. But I pushed those thoughts away when I thought of how my friends and family never gave up on me and knew no matter how much it hurt me to continue, it would hurt her more to not have that support.

And she only went and fucking done it didn’t she?!

Ahhh I CANNOT express how happy I was for her. She is now safe in refuge and free from abuse. Her journey has only just begun and although now she must deal with the aftermath, already I see change in her.

I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!! My eyes are going writing this.

You cannot understand the strength it takes to not only put up with that shit in the first place, but to leave and to keep gone.

Just like my journey & A’s journey, there will be bad days and we aren’t through that tunnel yet. But there is a light at the end of that tunnel, and that light is a bright wonderful future.

A you should be so proud of yourself and know that I am always here. In a years time imagine where we will be?!

To those of you that may be experiencing abuse please know there is light, you can break free.

And to all those perps, know we can break free and we can be stronger than you and take back our freedom.

And let me tell you how fucking sweet that freedom tastes 🙌

Song for every blog…

Christina Aguilera – On our way

Me and you, we’re different
Don’t always see eye to eye
You go left, and I go right
And sometimes when we even fight
That don’t mean that I won’t need a friend, oh
You and me, we’re in this till the end, oh

I think we’re on our our way
Through all the lows and highs
I need you by my side, singing
I think we’re on our way
To better days, better days, oh
Let’s say we turn the page
Move on from all the times
Should’ve laughed, not cried, feeling
What is there more to say?
I think that we’re on our way

Together, we’ll weather
Many storms as family
That bond is forever
It can take almost anything
The love I feel for you grows everyday, yeah
The more we get to learn from our mistakes

Until next time,

Coz I don’t think I’m done here yet…

B xxx