When I look back now at the last 12 years I realise one thing I truly missed out on was friendship. I never really had a best friend.

Again I have many close friends, one of which I also met through lashing. This one finds it very hard to read this blog! She never really knew what was going on, only small parts. She was the best friend that kept me hanging on in life for the last 3 years. No matter what I did tell her she stuck by me, she never judged she just listened but always gave her opinion in a kind way (and yes, you are always fucking right god damn it 😂) She’s my long distance best friend, I so wish I could see her more often but knowing she’s there on my Whatsapp every single day without fail makes me so happy. I love you yang!

Another best friend is my oldest bestie, she’s 100% gona be blubbing to this soz mate 😂 She never had any idea what was going on, I purposely kept her at arms length not wanting our friendship to be ruined by perp. Where the fuck would I be without her the last 6 months I have no clue. When I’m disorganized she’s there with a to do list and a plan, when I’m being dramatic she tells me to shut the fuck up and get on with it, and when I’m sad she sends me memes to make me smile. It’s a shame it took all this to make us as close as we were when we were 3 but I would do it all again. I truly love you.

All of them are my best friends just like different best friends for different things. And I genuinely would go through that shit all over again if someone told me that’s the kind of people you will have by your side at the end.

Bestie is the friend that I will talk to about just about anything in life. She’s my sleepover bestie (it helps she doesn’t have kids, apart from adopting mine 😂) she’s my I could spend every second of every day with you and not be sick of you bestie. She brings such a calming and comfortable aura to our lives.

I just genuinely don’t know where I would be without her and I truly truly believe she was sent into my life for a reason, and that reason was to help me get my freedom.

Also should add we are here for a reason, its another of my besties weddings!! This woman has also supported me so much, including giving me space to stay when I was so close to leaving for good. She also kept my business going at those times that I couldn’t and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I think the wedding might be a trigger for me so I apologise now if I cry too much and to bestie coz shes gona be the one dealing with me after. It will be a little bitter sweet for me of course, but I will be so happy to see a day filled with true love, it’s gona be magical!

This holiday will be the best of my life, and the best of the kids too. No stress, no fighting, no shouting and no arguments.

Just love and laughter. That proper deep belly almost piss your fucking pants laughter that bestie brings to our lives.

And most importantly, a happy smiling Mummy.

I’m gona go to sleep with the biggest grin on my face feeling so fucking thankful for you all.

And remember bestie, I LOVE YOU MORE.

 
Ps, this blog was so long I had to split it in 2. Thought I lost the 2nd half I was screwing but somehow found it 😂

Song for every blog…

Monica – Angel

When I first saw you,
I already knew,
There was something inside of you,
Something I thought I’d never find,
Angel of mine

Until next time,
B xxx