The last 3 years is when my business really took off and I absolutely believe that the abuse got worse the more successful I became.
I had a focus, I had drive and my attention was no longer on him. I was SO passionate about my career and to him it was a threat. 

Both children were now in full time school and I worked 9-3 every day, a couple of evenings and a slightly longer day once a week. I had a full client base, the most loyal clients that had mostly been with me since day 1! (If any of you are reading please know how much I miss you!) On average I would have 4 students a week, my diary was fully booked 3-4 months in advance. 

Anyone who runs their own business knows how much time it takes, not just physical lashing but everything behind the scenes. I had written my own training courses, there was always stuff to do! Updating the manuals, printing my manuals, ordering kits, making kits, answering case studies, answering enquiries, booking people in oh the list goes on and on! 
Social media literally made my business and again is something that took up alot of my time. I spent every second I could building my business and my reputation. Apart from my children it was the only good thing I had in my life.
When I was lashing or teaching it was the only time I felt I could relax and be myself. Of course I was never 100% either of those things but it was the closest I ever got.
And so all of my efforts went into it. 

I’m slightly ashamed to say I definitely at times put my business before my children. When you have such severe anxiety you can become completely obsessed with certain things and that thing for me was lashing. On those days when I felt I couldn’t fight anymore I pushed myself further with my business and it always lifted me up.
It was the only time I didn’t think about him.

Alot of the time I would work minutes after arguments and physical attacks, I have become a complete master of the brave face. Most of the time I made sure I only worked while the kids were at school, I never wanted to rely on him because it would only ever be thrown back in my face. A common phrase was

“The only reason you stay with me is so I babysit for you”

It’s not fucking babysitting when it’s your own kids 🙄

 
If I was working the evening he would often leave the house literally 5 minutes before my clients were due to arrive. I would be in such a panic about the kids, sometimes I cancelled but in the end I learned he would always come back after like 20 minutes (usually with a bag full of beers) so I just got on with it.
I dreaded hearing his van pull in the street, the sheer noise of it used to send my heart rate up.
Sometimes we would have an argument in the morning and he would come home during the day whilst I was working and glare at me through the window whilst lashing, that or he would be blowing my phone up all day. Call after call, text after text.
How I actually made it through each day I really just don’t know! 

I loved working the evenings although I would be completely exhausted. I never knew what I would be walking back into, especially an evening coz I knew he would be drunk. He would often start the minute I walked in the back door.

In 2018 I took on a team of ladies to educate under my brand name, I also had opened an online shop so always had stock to organise and kits to make!
It was all piled in the living room and during one arguement he literally went for the lot. He picked up the storage bags and emptied them out, threw the boxes round the room. Literally went fucking savage, it was everywere!! 
And the worst part? He then went for my dumont tweezers.
For those not in the lash industry these tweezers are incredibly sought after and very very expensive. 

You know what he did? 

He tipped them all out onto my hallway floor and jumped up and down on them.
Yes, lash sisters HE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON MY FUCKING DUMONT TWEEZERS.
Luckily I think only 6 pairs were fucked, that was still almost £400 quids worth.

FUCKING CUNT.

He didn’t like the idea of others working for me, told me they would fuck me over. Only one did 😂 To be honest he hated all of my family & all of my friends and they usually do! They try to turn you against everyone you know in a bid to isolate you so the only single person you trust is them! 

Last year I was asked to speak at a conference (dream come true!!) It started fairly early in the morning and one of my lash sisters offered for me to stay with her in her hotel room where it was taking place. This very nearly didn’t happen, of course he didn’t want me staying away for the night, I’m that much of a slapper I clearly couldn’t be trusted 🤦‍♀️🤣
Still to this day he tells people I shagged someone that night so let’s see how that started!
There aren’t many guys in our industry it is predominantly female! This one guy everyone knows (again i don’t like using names here but i did ask permission, hi if your reading!) He was attending and we had been chatting about it just like normal friends/work colleagues would, one day I had my phone in my hand and his name flashed up as the message came though.
Perp obv asked who the fuck it was, so of course I said oh that’s so and so we were just chatting about the conference, you can look at the messages if you want.
Instantly he took my phone, 2 minutes later hes literally going off his fucking nut.

“Who the fuck is this cunt, your a fucking slag! Talking about drinks and dinner at the hotel, just you 2 yeh? Planning on shagging him are ya? Oh that’s why your staying the night then! Fucking dirty tramp”

He then begins messaging him off my account, I hadn’t actually been able to bring myself to look at the messages sent until today, here’s the screenshot…


He then proceeded to find his wife on Facebook (I still to this day don’t even have her on Facebook) and tell her 🙈 
I have never ever been so embarrassed in my whole life, I genuinely thought this is it my career is over. I couldn’t fucking breathe, the poor guy had done absolutely NOTHING WRONG, and his wife was heavily pregnant, I’m like imagine she actually thinks something is going on?! Anyone normal reading the messages between us would see there was nothing in it, if it had been a woman he would of seen it as normal lash chat. But because it was a man that instantly meant I was trying to shag him.
Again, even in the form of text messages I was undeniably 100% faithful our entire relationship, I am not that sort of person and I also didn’t have a death wish. 

I said to him, 

“What kind of person do you actually think I am? A married woman messaging a married man who has a wife that is heavily pregnant? Do I not have self respect & morals?”
You know he actually got my kids involved too.
He told them,

“Mummy has a new boyfriend, she doesn’t love daddy anymore she doesn’t care about us now”

That fucking hurt, he may of thought I was a unfaithful slag but telling that to MY CHILDREN??? 1st class prick.

I used to think, jesus if you really thought I was that easy and that much of a hoe why the fuck did you have 2 kids with me and marry me? Fucking mug.

Luckily, said man & his wife are genuinely good people and didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t apologise enough I felt so fucking awful.
I saw him a few months ago when he attended one of my trainings, the photo of us was posted on perps fb not that long ago after he received divorce papers. (He has been blocked from my insta account for a long time but his new bird & friends were stalking it hence I’ve has to stop using that account)
He literally wrote,
“Put that in your divorce papers”

Well, no actually I won’t.

1 Because we werent together then.
2 Because I haven’t actually shagged the guy.
3 YOUR THE ONE WITH A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ALREADY YOU ABSOLUTE MORON. Maybe I should add that in there? 
He’s kept her very quiet actually, doesn’t realise I’ve known for months and that I also know who she is. It’s because he doesn’t want to the world to think he’s the one that’s moved on after 5 minutes. He tried it whilst visiting my mum, oh but I still love bryony I miss her, my wife. My mums reply was oh I thought you had a new girlfriend? Apparently his face went white whilst denying it 😂 
Again I genuinely don’t care, that love was gone a very very long time ago, my deepest condolences go to her. 

And PS I am absolutely not your fucking wife, you never ever deserved me as a wife and never will!
Needless to say he didn’t enjoy receiving those papers, he still hasn’t signed it but he clearly doesn’t realise it will go ahead with him eventually, ha thick cunt!
 
One of the saddest days of my career was when I almost gave up on it all, to be honest I actually wanted to just give up life that day.
It was sometime late last year or early this year, I got up at 6am as I normally did and within about 10 minutes the cunt had started (I don’t remember what over just the usual bullshit) I actually got moaned at for getting up early on a weekday.

“Weekdays you get up so early to do your stupid fucking lash shit and weekends you just lay in bed like a lazy cunt not wanting to do anything with your family because you don’t care”

I mean wtf really? 

Anyways by about 6.30 he had already attacked me, taken my phone and smashed it up. You know what I did? Grabbed my keys and just left.
I drove up the road, got a coffee and went and parked up somewhere.
I sat there til about 6pm.
I had a full day of work, clients and a student but that day I gave 0 fucks and that in itself killed me. They turned up too of course and he had to send them away.
I sat there in silence all day in a daze, I didn’t actually want to live anymore, I was done just fucking done with it all.
Once again another one of my phones had gone, thousands of lash pictures and pictures of the kids GONE, again. 
Fucking sick to death of that cunt just ruining everything.

You know sometimes I would have such an amazing couple of days, I would get everything done, work would be sweet, kids happy and I would be organised!!! Then a day like above would happen and BAM I’m back to square fucking one. 
I wonder if anyone reading this noticed that I would just randomly disappear for a few days? I know several of my friends have said it to me since leaving him. That’s because those few days would be constant arguments, it was so fucking draining I don’t know how I picked myself back up.

In almost 5 years I built an incredible business and achieved alot but, there was so many things I wanted to do and so so much more I could of achieved if it wasn’t for him. 

For now my business is on hold, I can’t lash and I can’t train. IT KILLS ME.

But what I do know is it’s waiting for me and let me tell you there is noone in this whole wide world that will stop me again. I am taking 0 fucking shit from now on.

I’m gona get that salon & training academy I’ve always dreamed of, I’m gona travel around the world with trainings. I’m going to win competitions and run my own. I’m gona produce the most amazing fucking lash sets and I’m gona build my team up and we will be the number fucking 1 lash brand.

That top spot is mine for the taking and god help anyone who stands in my way.

Another quote from Ariana calls…

” Been through some bad shit I should be a sad bitch,
Who would of thought it turn me to a savage”
Ps just for a chuckle he has also claimed it was him that made me famous 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #dreamonbitch


Until next time,
B xxx