Honestly before we came here I had this idea in my head that a refuge would be fucking horrific! I think I compared it to a hostel and hostels can be pretty skanky!

If you had told me this time last year I would flee my home to a womens refuge with my 2 kids I’d be like, naaaa no fucking way mate 😂

I had a 3 bedroom house, good size nice driveway and a purpose built salon room in the garden to work from. There was just 1 rather large issue, it was semi-detached to perps parents and subsequently him. Yes I was living next door to him. A judge, who would of been armed with multiple statements detailing 12 years of abuse, convicted a man and then allowed him to live next door to said victim.

I actually just chuckled a little, it’s just UNBELIEVABLE. Sometimes the authorities wonder why so many victims of domestic abuse don’t come forward and quite frankly it’s coz of shit like that. WHO in their right mind thinks that’s ok? Within half an hour of him being released from court he was outside my house, the latest stalking charge actually goes back to then and quite frankly they allowed it to happen.

Anyways you can imagine I didn’t last long, of course I was in the process of trying to be moved but the single only option I was given by local authorities was refuge. Yeh I was still working at the time but I was significantly struggling to get through a working day because of my mental state meaning I kept cancelling, plus now being a single mum supporting 2 children and a house. I couldn’t afford to private rent!

Though maybe if I did earn 3k a week as perp says I do maybe I could?

MATE if I was earning that a week I would’ve been on a plane out this country living in a fuck off mansion quicker than you could say ciao adios motherfucker 🤣🤣🤣

Anyways him taking the kids from me cemented my decision, bye bitch I was gone!

I tell you what it ain’t easy to get into refuge either, there really aren’t enough of them about it took me a good week of phone calls every day to find space for us. In the end I had a choice of 2 and I’m so so happy I choose here.

I took as much stuff as I possibly could fit in my car and prepared the kids for the “safe house”.

From the referral and assessment over the phone to every day life here now the staff have been incredible.

I didn’t know what to expect and it certainly wasn’t what I thought! When when arrived they showed us around, we have an awesome garden and a play room. A lounge and TV. A communal kitchen on each floor (theres 3 floors) and a bathroom that we share with one other family.

Our room is pretty damn big! I have my own little section of it, kids have bunk beds on the other side. We’ve even got a little table & chairs and an armchair! We have more than enough room. I genuinely expected to be squished in like sardines.

When we arrived we all had brand new bedding, I had a gift bag full of toiletries. The kids had massive gift bags of toiletries, toys, books and colouring stuff. They both then got to choose a handmade quilted blanket, a charity makes them for all the children who come to live here. When I saw it all my eyes just filled up and actually they are now too thinking of it! It was just such a lovely special touch to welcome us, and I thought wow we are lucky.

I was able to bring quite alot of stuff with me but there is a food store for those who haven’t got any money and a clothes room too. Got a lovely dressing gown from there actually 🤣🙌 bloody awesome when you fancy a clear out of old clothes too!

We share big washing machines & tumble dryers, just small chain to use them. You get a washing basket too now I think of it! It’s like living in a block of flats really just sharing some rooms. It’s pretty clean too (when everyone follows the rota anyways) I love when it’s my day to clean it gives me something to do!

When the kids are at school there are groups and activities like art sessions, parenting courses etc.

All in all it really isn’t too bad. The most important thing is that we are safe. Nobody knows where I am, literally nobody knows the address not even family. The whole place is covered in CCTV with intruder alarms (mate is that cunt loud!!) Not even the police know where they are going, they get lost coming here 🤣

The staff are here weekdays and are always there to support you, although sometimes there’s a little drama it’s good to be around other women in the same situation and we try to help each other. The sad bit is watching friends come and go! We’ve been here 10 weeks now and have already had to say goodbye to some good friends but that’s life! I’m not entirely sure how the kids will cope when we leave, it’s like a fun house they just literally play with their friends all day!

I am on a housing list for a new place but I expect to be here another 6 months if I’m honest. The tough thing is firstly being so far from my friends and family, and secondly not being able to work. My business literally means everything to me but for now it has to take a back seat. It is also best I have time away to get myself sorted too, I know what I’m like and I’ll get far too obsessed and take on far too much and send myself even more crazy!

It does get pretty damn boring sometimes but I’m going to try enjoy all this time sitting on my arse coz hopefully this time next year I wont be sitting down ever! And yes I will be moaning then too 🤣

This is our break from reality, our time to recover and just be ourselves.

If you are reading this and have debated going into refuge, don’t hesitate. If it means you are safe and free DO IT.

Noone said it was gona be easy, but life is a whole lot easier without the perp in it that’s for sure!

Until next time,

B xxx